Searching for that "deeper" connection...

Okay, this post may seem a little random, but stay with me. I want to discuss something that I find interesting within sex scenes; the importance of kissing, and the significance of saying “I love you”. Three sex scenes come to mind:

The one we already know is Kevin and Vicky in that famous teen-sex comedy, American Pie, where Vicky doesn’t want to have sex with her high school boyfriend until he tells her he loves her. Holy Cliché, Batman! This one is straightforward and makes for that crazy-awkward sex scene.

Moving on to a classic, prostitute Julia Roberts can’t kiss "client" Richard Gere in Pretty Woman, because kissing is totally inappropriate, even though she is sleeping with him. This is a common rule amoung prostitutes (so I hear), because the act of kissing is known to be more, well…“intimate”. I wonder if the idea of kissing, or the importance of “the first kiss” had anything to do with the build-up of the climactic kiss at the end of every great movie. Think about it, it’s just another body part touching someone else’s, where as sex is…well…deeper. Why is kissing so out of the question when you are spending the night naked and engaging in sexual activity with someone…shouldn’t THAT be more personal?

This brings us to the most interesting of the three, psycho Swimfan Erika Christensen and hot Jesse Nicholas getting busy in the pool, before she goes all Fatal Attraction on him. Here's a short clip of that scene, and the trailer.

So, he has a girlfriend, and he’s cheating on his girlfriend with a blonde he barely knows who ends up being obsessed with him. For anyone who has seen this movie, you can just see him saying, “It seemed like a good idea at the time…”

So, they’re having sweaty sex in the school pool when Erika tells Jesse that she wants to have him say that he loves her. “Ben…tell me that you love me. You don’t have to mean it, just say it…” Okay, if this didn’t set off some kind of WARNING alarms for him, I don’t know what would. Then she uses that against him later, to his response “You told me to!”

What is the obsession with hearing that someone loves you during sex (or during a sex scene)? I would have thought that our society had separated the two so much that it wouldn’t even be an issue anymore, yet many other movies contain scenes where the woman just wants to hear that she is loved (before she gives it up). The link between kissing and love in sex scenes is fascinating, and brings up questions of emotional attachment in a society where “casual sex” is a phrase thrown around an awful lot…Thoughts?